Boredom

Ever wonder why we get bored? We find stuff to occupy ourselves, but after a while we get bored with it. I've been dolling off and on for a few years and it's starting to get boring. All my dolls turn out basically the same, just variations in base and how I do the clothing. I see these magnificent dolls done by friends and wonder if I'll ever get that good. I get the obligatory compliments on the half hour I put into a doll, but if it takes longer than that I get bored with it. I know that if I get picky I could turn out some stuff that's just as gorgeous as other people's, but I don't have the patience to sit and work everything out until it's perfect. Over the few years I've been doing this I've developed my own ways of doing things and I think it makes my dolls looks unique, very few people do my way of shading or doing hair. Only my sister has figured out how I do it because she's watched me do it a bajillion times. I know how to do my way of hair in two different paint programs, but I haven't done my way of shading in photoshop yet, I do most of my work in PSP, and it gets annoying having to switch back and forth between programs. I guess I just need something else to do. I've started getting into graphics for websites and webdesign, but web designers are a dime a dozen. I want something that's uniquely me. I can't really do anything that's unique among my peers, elders, or my family. I understand animals better than people, but what good does that do a 17-year-old? And it's not like I can go anywhere on a whim, I have to rely on the bus system and money from my parents if I want to leave home in the middle of the day. It'll take me at least six months to get my driver's license, but in the meantime I'm stuck at home bored. Still. I get kinda tired of reading all the time, even if it is for school. I could work in my garden, but that lost its luster shortly after I started planting stuff in it. Besides, my sisters started their own gardens, which took the uniqueness out of my garden. I love singing, but my mom and sister are already doing that, so no one really listens to me. Sometimes I feel like everyone's drinking from the cup of energy before me and I just get the dregs, nothing that really matters, like a mouthful of pulp at the end of a pitcher of orange juice. YUCK! Who would want that? *sigh* To use another cliche I feel like I tend to get the short end of the stick, being the youngest everyone gets to do stuff before I do, that's why I tried to grow up faster than my sisters. I was the first to wear make up, I was the first to have a boyfriend, and I'll be the first that won't actually graduate from high school. Lovely, huh? The first two I don't even do anymore. I see no reason to wear make-up since it's mostly my family who see me, and I have no prospects in the way of boyfriends. *sighs and looks back over entry* Another novel here. *lol* Okay, enough ranting for today.

Dani.